Slice of Life - Day 53

A daily part of life around here resolves around fertility stuff... it has become the white elephant in the room I guess... we spent a few months where it was all we talked about... our quest to have a baby... what would it be like, what we would name it (Emma or Ethan), would we be good parents, would I work, who would be in the delivery room with me, what if it was twins?!

But now that it is taking longer and longer and our hope has diminished it has become something to avoid speaking of... there are enough reminders around the house, and in our life that we don't need to talk about it every second. But you can see the evidence of a hope so great in the corners of our house if you know where to look... my daily planner that sits on my desk, always open to the current month with the little x's on the "sex days" as we call them so that B can look and know when he needs to save his energy ;) The Materna vitamins in the kitchen that I take each night in hopes to have a healthy baby when the time comes... the thermometer and fertility kit that rests on my bedside table charting away each day. The stockpile of baby scrapbooking items in my craft room... the oh so super soft baby blanket that we saw somewhere early on and just couldn't resist - telling ourselves it was on sale and we would need it sooner or later. Now that the sooner has become later it's been banished to the closet because I don't want to look at it.

Sometimes I swear if one more person tells me "it will happen if it's meant to" I am going to punch them in the face.