Counting down

I find myself watching Emma these days, listening to her little (and sometimes loud) voice and although Ive always been one of those hands on, touchy feely Mama's I find myself reaching out and stroking her hair even more often, gathering her up for a quick snuggle, breathing in her scent. Ive heard other moms question how they will ever love their second child as much as their first... I myself dont worry about that. I love this little being inside me very much already... but I do wonder how it will be with two, how will I manage to give my all to my first, when I have to give some to the new one. How will she feel not having all the attention, how will I feel missing out on "our" time. She is the one who made me a Mama, who taught me so much about this parenting thing, the one in this world who I love like no other. I dont feel guilt exactly on creating this second baby, but I do feel nervous about being a mom to two. Emma is so wonderful, so smart and funny, shy and caring... she loves crafts and princesses and imaginative play. She makes up little stories, talking in her little singsong voice to her babies and stuffies and little princesses... then the next minute she is singing loud and proud for all to hear. I look at her sometimes and wonder how I got so lucky, how did we create this sweet funny little child. I would like to take credit but I think we literally just got lucky. And as much as I look forward to this final countdown to baby number two, and imagine what its little face will look like, imagine breathing in that sweet newborn smell... I am storing up all these last moments as a mom of one... breathing in my girl who I love so much. Listening, loving, watching...