Emma Boo is 2!

2 years ago tonight I was laying on this very same couch drugged up on ativan, and having contractions lasting one minute long, coming less than a minute apart. I was in and out of sleep, waking to contractions or Kalli Dog trying to rip my IV out of my hand or bite my hospital bracelet off. It was a long night. I was in labour and had signed myself out of the hospital in frustration and anger at the 3 days of labour with no baby in sight that I had just endured. This night spent on my couch would be my last night as just a woman, instead of a mother. Emma would be born less that 24 hours later and would change my life completely.

Tomorrow she turns 2. How time flies. Mostly I cant believe that was 2 whole years ago, but then sometimes it feels like forever. I no longer remember every minute of labour like it was yesterday, or even those 6 weeks of minimal sleep while she got her internal clock figured out that followed. I didn't think I would ever forget those - or that I would live through it. But I did, and she did, and we figured it all out together. I haven't forgotten that I told Brendan one morning in a sleep deprived state that we were going to have to give Emma up for adoption, that I just couldn't deal with a newborn, that I wasn't cut out to be a mom after all. Thankfully I realized the words coming out of my mouth were crazy and let that go.

I would be a different person today if I wasn't Emma's mom. She has made me laugh more, love more, learn more, grow more, want more. She has made me a mommy and I am so forever grateful. She is the most beautiful child, not only on the outside, but more importantly on the inside. She is loving and sweet, but not malleable, she has a temper and a will and is so so smart. She is adventurous and caring and silly. She just dazzles. She is a wonderful combination of her daddy and I. Together somehow we made this little amazing person who really combines the best of both of us. We went through quite a bit to have her and I am really thankful to God for giving us her. She is the light of my life, and I only hope that we have a long healthy and happy life together. I cant wait to see her grow, to go to school, to learn, to dance, to love... to become all that she was meant to be.

Oh Emma Boo, how I adore you. Thank you for finding me, I am so happy to know you. Happy Birthday!