Wherever You Are - Nancy Tillman

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I wanted you more
than you will ever know,
so I sent love to follow
wherever you go

It's high as you wish it. It's quick as an elf.
You'll never outgrow it... it stretches itself

So climb any mountain...
climb up to the sky!
My love will find you.
My love can fly!

Make a big splash! Go out on a limb!
My love will find you. My love can swim!

It never gets lost, never fades, never ends...

If you're working...
Or playing...
Or sitting with friends.

You can dance 'til you're dizzy...
Paint 'til you're blue...
There's no place, not one,
that my love can't find you.

And if someday you're lonely,
or someday you're sad,
or you strike out at baseball,
or think you've been bad...

just lift up your face, feel the wind in your hair.
That's me, my sweet baby, my love is right there.

In the green of the grass... in the smell of the sea...
in the clouds floating by... at the top of a tree,,,
in the sound crickets make at the end of the day...

"You are loved. You are loved. You are loved," they all say.

My love is so high, and so wide and so deep,
it's always right there, even when you're asleep.

So hold your head high
and don't be afraid
to march to the front
of your own parade.

If you're still my small babe
or you're all the way grown,
my promise to you
is you're never alone.

You are my angel, my darling,
my star... and my love will find you,
wherever you are.

You are loved.

Emma Boo is 2!

2 years ago tonight I was laying on this very same couch drugged up on ativan, and having contractions lasting one minute long, coming less than a minute apart. I was in and out of sleep, waking to contractions or Kalli Dog trying to rip my IV out of my hand or bite my hospital bracelet off. It was a long night. I was in labour and had signed myself out of the hospital in frustration and anger at the 3 days of labour with no baby in sight that I had just endured. This night spent on my couch would be my last night as just a woman, instead of a mother. Emma would be born less that 24 hours later and would change my life completely.

Tomorrow she turns 2. How time flies. Mostly I cant believe that was 2 whole years ago, but then sometimes it feels like forever. I no longer remember every minute of labour like it was yesterday, or even those 6 weeks of minimal sleep while she got her internal clock figured out that followed. I didn't think I would ever forget those - or that I would live through it. But I did, and she did, and we figured it all out together. I haven't forgotten that I told Brendan one morning in a sleep deprived state that we were going to have to give Emma up for adoption, that I just couldn't deal with a newborn, that I wasn't cut out to be a mom after all. Thankfully I realized the words coming out of my mouth were crazy and let that go.

I would be a different person today if I wasn't Emma's mom. She has made me laugh more, love more, learn more, grow more, want more. She has made me a mommy and I am so forever grateful. She is the most beautiful child, not only on the outside, but more importantly on the inside. She is loving and sweet, but not malleable, she has a temper and a will and is so so smart. She is adventurous and caring and silly. She just dazzles. She is a wonderful combination of her daddy and I. Together somehow we made this little amazing person who really combines the best of both of us. We went through quite a bit to have her and I am really thankful to God for giving us her. She is the light of my life, and I only hope that we have a long healthy and happy life together. I cant wait to see her grow, to go to school, to learn, to dance, to love... to become all that she was meant to be.

Oh Emma Boo, how I adore you. Thank you for finding me, I am so happy to know you. Happy Birthday!